Paul Rudd (source: People)

It’s taken thirty-six years, but finally “People” magazine has awarded the title of “Sexiest Man Alive” to an Aries native.

I’ve made plenty of fun at the expense of Aries men since I first started compiling statistics to determine which zodiac sign was the sexiest. Of course, my own sign has fared very well in the annual competition; we Capricorns ooze sexuality. We ooooze it! However, with Taurus native George Clooney taking the title twice, we’re just a little bit behind that sign in the stats, tied for second place with another earth sign, Virgo.

What’s interesting to me is that Paul Rudd is sort of a super-Aries, astrologically speaking. He’s got the sun, Mercury and Venus all in the sign, as well as Saturn, the midheaven and the north node. For that reason he should give off even more Aries energy than your normal Aries man. I’m not sure that he does, though. Yet the aforementioned four planets are also situated in his tenth house: the house associated with Capricorn. That does a lot to explain why he is low-key sexy, naturally witty and self-deprecating, and rather ageless. It makes him more goat-like than ram-like. He’s an honorary Capricorn: a card-carrying member of my own good-looking club.

Anyway, there’s a first for everything! I don’t expect another Aries man to grace the cover of “People” again very soon. Luke Evans has been mounting an aggressive campaign on Instagram, but with rumors that Henry Cavill is about to become the next James Bond, I’m sure that’s just going to skew the statistics in Taurus’ favor even more in the not-too-distant future.

Anyway, here’s an updated list of the “Sexiest Man Alive” statistics:

Aries: Paul Rudd.

Taurus: George Clooney (2 times); Pierce Brosnan; Channing Tatum; David Beckham; Dwayne Johnson.

Gemini: Johnny Depp (2 times); Blake Shelton.

Cancer: Tom Cruise; Harrison Ford.

Leo: Patrick Swayze; Ben Affleck; Chris Hemsworth.

Virgo: Mark Harmon; Sean Connery; Richard Gere (2 times); Idris Elba.

Libra: Matt Damon; Hugh Jackman.

Scorpio: Harry Hamlin; Matthew McConaughey; Ryan Reynolds.

Sagittarius: John F. Kennedy Jr.; Brad Pitt (2 times).

Capricorn: Mel Gibson; Denzel Washington; Jude Law; Bradley Cooper; John Legend.

Aquarius: Nick Nolte; Michael B. Jordan.

Pisces: Adam Levine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s