Emily DiDonato (source: Vogue)

February 24 is Emily DiDonato’s birthday.

If you don’t know Emily DiDonato’s name, you probably know her face. Her Acqua Di Gioia perfume ads for Giorgio Armani are some of the most iconic images in modern fashion history. I didn’t know much about the model, so I looked her up and I discovered that she was married last summer. “Vogue” has a series of lovely photos from her wedding in Colorado. It was an event, to say the least.

That got me thinking about how much I hate weddings and the notion of staged romance in general. Curiously, just before logging onto my blog to write this post, I was on Facebook cracking a joke about how much I hate the movie “Love Actually.”

I was surprised to discover that Emily DiDonato shares my Cancer moon. I know that a lot of astrologers believe that a Cancer moon is nurturing and romantic, but I see it as something more primal: the instinct that causes a mother hamster to eat a stillborn baby so that she stands a better chance of being able to feed the rest of her offspring.

So, what makes Emily DiDonato into such a romantic? She does have a Pisces moon and a Pisces Mercury, and that probably has something to do with it. I have a Capricorn sun and stern Saturn in Pisces. Perhaps those planets are the romance-killers in my chart. On the other hand, I have Libra for a rising sign, which makes lovey-dovey Venus my ruling planet. Then again, Venus is in frosty Aquarius in my horoscope. Emily DiDonato’s Venus is in Capricorn. That doesn’t seem like a romantic placement, either — at least not to me.

I’m sort of at a loss to explain why one person would enjoy watching “Love Actually” or clicking through the slideshow of Emily DiDonato’s wedding, and another person would physically retch at the thought of fairy-tale romance on such a grand, manufactured scale. Maybe it’s something that I need to explore in the future. The problem is that any time I come across an article about astrology and romance, my eyes glaze over. I don’t even give myself the chance to understand why someone would want to put themselves through another viewing of the stupidest movie ever made or a costly, self-gratifying photo-op disguised as an ode to the power of love.

I’ll probably never get it, but that’s fine by me.

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