The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 4
Lisa Vanderpump (source: Lifetime)

I’m halfway through my “Real Housewives” Zodiac Dream Team and I’ve already got three housewives from “Beverly Hills” on my list. I guess it’s easy to figure out which version of the show is my favorite!

Nevertheless, I won’t apologize for picking a Virgo housewife from “Beverly Hills.” Of the twelve housewives I can identify as Virgos, four are from the debut season of “Beverly Hills.” Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, Kim Richards and Lisa Vanderpump all share the same sign. Of course, Lisa Vanderpump is the only remaining cast member (although the others still make guest appearances and even share current story lines). What’s interesting about all of these Virgo women is that they all possess a textbook Virgo trait: a somewhat closed-off demeanor that causes friction between them and other cast members. Adrienne Maloof left the show shortly after Brandi Glanville began to spill her secrets all over town. Camille Grammer left the show while in the middle of a nasty divorce in order to protect her children from the publicity. She admitted that she was “over” the exposure at the time. Kim Richards hid her issues with substance abuse behind a puzzled facade, pretending to be both dumbfounded and offended whenever anyone had the nerve to accuse her of having a problem.

Lisa Vanderpump, on the other hand, has made her closed-off demeanor both her story line and her shtick. She constantly engages in character assassination (she’s “a sniper from the side” according to Erika Jayne), and then pretends to be oblivious to the idea that her behavior could possibly rankle anyone. She shares the common Virgo character trait of a curious lack of self-awareness. She doesn’t comprehend how rotten she can appear to others when she is behaving badly. And when someone holds up a mirror to her, she acts as if she can’t believe what she sees.

That’s the Virgo experience in a nutshell. Virgos are thinkers who carefully consider everything they do. I get along with them well because I have a lot in common with them. I don’t get along with them when they drink or do drugs, though, because substance abuse reveals an ugly side of their character. They can be calculating perfectionists who stand back and observe others, gaining information and reserving comments. Drugs and alcohol often remove that filter and turn them into monsters who can’t help themselves from telling you what they really think. Did I mention that Kim Richards is a Virgo?

There have plenty of other Virgo housewives, and they run the gamut from completely intolerable to curiously forgettable. Aviva Drescher from “New York” is a Virgo. Caroline Manzo from “New Jersey” is a Virgo, too. The Napolitano twins from “New Jersey” also share the sign. Tamra Barney and Jeana Keough from “Orange County” are Virgos, as well. Back when I could still stand the show, I remember Tamra throwing a cocktail in Jeana’s face. Good times! In typical Virgo style, the fight was over the fact that one of the women was spilling the other’s secrets all over town. Demetria McKinney from Atlanta and Gizelle Bryant from Potomac are Virgos, too. Gizelle’s pickiness and critical nature give me major Virgo vibes and she’s shaping up to be one of my favorite housewives. Like Lisa Vanderpump, she has no idea why anyone would be mad at her when she offends them. It makes for great TV.

But back to Lisa Vanderpump. She’s on my dream team because her closed-off, control-freak Virgo persona is genuinely likable. And like a brainy Virgo, she’s figured out just how much she needs to open up in order to keep the fans on her side. Adrienne couldn’t do it. Camille wouldn’t do. Kim was too drunk to do it. Vanderpump only recently started to allow the cameras to see past the facade. I hope that she understands that looking in the mirror that fame holds up to her can only make her more complete. You’re never too old to engage in self-evaluation. When a Virgo native finally stops evaluating everyone else for a moment, they allow themselves the time needed to reflect upon their own condition. Self-reflection is essential to their well-being. Without it, they can be as self-deluded as Kim Richards. That is a fate I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

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