It should come as no surprise to anyone that I watch far too many “Real Housewives” shows. However, I don’t watch them all. For instance, I can’t stand “The Real Housewives of Orange County” because I can’t stand Vicki Gunvalson. She may hold the distinction of being the original housewife, but to me she represents the absolute worst of her zodiac sign. She’s an Aries, of course, and I often find Aries natives to be insufferable. At their worst, they can be bossy, rude, self-absorbed and obnoxiously competitive divas who have an incredibly difficult time playing nicely with the other children.
At their best, on the other hand, they can be refreshingly candid. I suppose that’s what I like about Robyn Dixon. On the sort of program where the vast majority of the cast spend their time attempting to one-up one another, Robyn is a breath of fresh air. She’s not the girliest girl on the cast of “The Real Housewives of Potomac.” In fact, she might be the most “real”-looking housewife on any version of the Bravo show. I expect that from an Aries woman. Aries is truly the most masculine sign in the zodiac, so when I see an Aries woman dressed up as a fairy princess, the first thing that pops into my mind is “Who does she think she’s fooling?” I’m glad that Robyn doesn’t succumb to the pressure to keep up with the rest of these ridiculous women. She knows that she is pretty enough to film a scene without a face full of makeup and a few pounds of hair extensions sewn to her head (her Season 1 reunion look was an odd exception). In the “Real Housewives” galaxy, that makes her into a special kind of star.
I’m also a huge fan of her candor when it comes to her own messy life. She’s in a weird, co-dependent relationship with her husband, Juan. She doesn’t have the money that most of her cast mates have, but rather than hiding her financial difficulties from the cameras, she has made her struggles into her story line. I often admonish Aries natives for having no filter — a common trait among real housewives that is often worn as a badge of honor. In Robyn’s case, she is often frank without being petty and mean. She doesn’t create a lot of collateral damage with her behavior because she’s not as interested in one-upping her fellow housewives as most Aries individuals would be. Sure, the wrong thing may come out her mouth on occasion, but it’s usually when she’s revealing something about herself. She’s not always on attack-mode like a lot of Aries women on these shows who succumb to the influence of their ruling planet, Mars.
I’m sure that some people believe that makes her into a boring housewife, but those people probably like watching Vicki. I hope that Bravo realizes what they’ve got in Robyn, because they tend to show the broke housewives the door. At the moment, Robyn provides a “real” counterpoint to the one show in the franchise that is most-desperately in need of some real drama. Watching Karen Huger house-hunting is no more exciting than watching Charisse Jackson Jordan making stank faces. I’d rather watch an entire episode of Robyn giving side-eye to the manufactured drama her cast mates bring to every episode of “The Real Housewives of Potomac.”
There are a few more Aries housewives. Melissa Gorga of “New Jersey” is an Aries. I suppose that she plays true-to-type because she seems like a bossy pain-in-the-ass. The same goes for Heather Thomson, formerly of “New York.” Claudia Jordan, formerly of “Atlanta,” didn’t bug me so much, but her lack of a story line made for plenty of dull moments. I don’t know anything about Shannon Beador on “Orange County,” except that I watched an episode where she spent the entire time talking trash about Vicki. Putting two Aries women together like that is asking for trouble. It’s Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” all over again. Hmm . . . maybe I should be watching “Orange County” after all.