Luann
Luann D’Agostino (source: Bravo)

There are plenty of Taurus women on “Real Housewives” shows. I suppose that’s because Taurus women regularly live up to the “bull in a china shop” stereotype that has come to define their sign. When push comes to shove, they bring the drama! One only needs to watch Teresa Giudice’s notorious table-flipping scene to understand exactly what I mean.

Nevertheless, I don’t believe that most Taurus women spend their time wondering when they will have another opportunity to smash some glassware. They’re decadent creatures who spend most of their time dreaming about the finer things in life. That’s probably the real reason that there are so many of them in the Bravo universe. They make living the high life look fabulous.

My favorite Taurus housewife is Luann D’Agostino of “The Real Housewives of New York.” I love everything about her, from her smoky voice to her down-to-earth sense of style. She’s a Taurus through and through! Bulls are typically passive creatures who aren’t bothered by all the noise going on around them. They can often be accused of living in their own fantasy world because they have the tendency to tune out in high-pressure situations that would alarm almost anyone else. Yet they are very defensive, and when stress gets the best of them, they often leave a path of destruction in their wake.

They are also dependable. Taurus natives make loyal friends and are generally fun to be around because they are easygoing and not-so-serious. They can, however, be too eager to indulge in all of life’s sensual pleasures, and sometimes they lapse into truly hedonistic behavior. It’s not uncommon for Taurus women who can afford the finer things in life to become the biggest show-offs in the zodiac. It’s also not uncommon for Taurus women to look for the easy-way-out in tough situations. I suppose that’s why so many Taurus women become addicted to plastic surgery and other cosmetic procedures.

I don’t see the worst of Taurus represented in Luann. I love the way that she looks, especially when she is standing next to many of her cosmetically-enhanced costars. I love her wardrobe that speaks of Americana and East Coast, blue blood style. I love that she always fighting with Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer — Scorpios, of course — because anyone who takes the time to tell those two that they are full of shit is a friend of mine. I can honestly say that I would be friends with Luann in real life because I almost always get along with Taurus natives. I’m a Capricorn, like her husband. Our affinity was written in the stars.

Of course, Teresa Giudice is one of the other Taurus housewives. Anyone who watched her on “The Celebrity Apprentice” was probably taken aback by the night-and-day persona she demonstrated on the two so-called “reality” shows. The fact is that her reality was expressed a lot more accurately on “The Celebrity Apprentice” than on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” She was sweet, easygoing and hardworking. She’s just your average bull who should avoid china shops in general. What I find fascinating is that her arch-rival on “New Jersey,” Danielle Staub, shares the same zodiac sign as Carole Radziwill on “New York.” They’re both Leos, and Leo individuals are just as stubborn as Taurus natives. Luann and Carole’s infamous fight over Carole’s boyfriend Adam was at an impasse before it even began. Leo/Taurus can be a bad combination.

Jacqueline Laurita from “New Jersey” is also a Taurus, so it’s no surprise that she has found herself locking horns with Teresa. Kelly Bensimon, Bethenny’s former rival on “New York” is a Taurus, too. Other Taurus housewives include Kristin Taekman (NY), Alexia Echevarria (Miami), Joanna Krupa (Miami), Kim Fields (Atlanta), Karen Huger (Potomac) and Kim Zolciak (Atlanta). Kandi Burress is a Taurus, too. There was a time when she was close friends with Phaedra Parks, another Scorpio, but that has turned into one of the most antagonistic relationships in “Housewives” history. She’s also married to a Leo. I can’t say that I’m optimistic about her future with Todd. If they ever get into a big fight, it’s going to be a doozy!

Anyway, I welcome Luann to my “Housewives” dream team. She really is the sort of person I would be friends with in real life, and I don’t apologize for that. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m certainly not going to lose any sleep if someone doesn’t like the same TV personalities that I like. I’ve got more important things to worry about.

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