I have this weird thing that happens to me while I’m writing. I’ll be composing something with all the confidence in the world, and they’ll I’ll distance myself from it for a day or two in order to look at it with a fresh perspective. Normally, I don’t think too much about it in the meantime. I’ll go about my business, catching up on housework, gardening, concentrating on my job or getting in a little extra time at the gym. What I’ve written might cross my mind, but I don’t typically second-guess myself. However, every now and then I get this panicky feeling, like everything I’ve done is wrong. It happened several times when I wrote my first book, and now it’s happening again.
I’m not a panicky person, and after a few of these episodes I should have learned that this is all in my head. This morning, for instance, I read what I wrote this week and it’s all good — I have nothing to worry about.
It’s interesting that I’m working on the Libra chapter. With my Libra rising sign, I believe that my balanced, Libra-like approach to work and play is working for me at the moment. I’m plugging along without really getting behind on anything. Yesterday at work, the district manager asked me why I only work part-time, and I told her the truth: that if I do anything too much I begin to hate whatever it is that I’m doing. I wonder if people with their sun sign in Libra feel the same way. Does Bella Hadid get grouchy and anxious when she models too much?
I’m actually going to attribute the panic to all the planetary action in my ninth house. With the sun and Mercury speeding through that area of my chart, I have this feeling that nothing is moving fast enough. That’s quite contrary to my steady Capricorn sun/Cancer moon/Libra rising character. Hopefully, I’m going to get back to feeling as if I have all the time in the world when the focus turns to my tenth house next week. I guess I’ll know soon enough!