Donald Trump (source: Twitter)

Here’s a photo of President Brain Spurs touring Kenosha, Wisconsin yesterday. His shoes have become a topic of discussion because it’s not often that we get to see the high-heels in profile. Yes, he wears high heels to pretend that he’s taller than he actually is. That — along with his morbid obesity and some pretty shitty core strength — is the reason he walks like a gorilla.

I don’t really give a rat’s ass what anyone else does when it comes to fashion. I like to discuss how individuals of all signs project particular images and how those images align with their horoscopes, but I don’t lose sleep if someone wears something that I don’t deem to be aesthetically pleasing.

I also don’t go around bullying anyone about their personal appearance. I have both justified and irrational insecurities of my own, so I know how much it can hurt to be the brunt of someone else’s unsolicited criticism.

Despite all of that, I wish nothing more than for everyone in the world to make fun of Donald Trump’s insecurities. Why? Because he deserves it.

He has Leo rising, which makes his physical appearance a soft spot. That’s why he never allowed himself to lose his hair gracefully. That’s why he wears a tie that is long enough to cover his gut. That’s why he spends two hours every morning getting spray painted orange before he gets in front of the cameras. That’s why he asks his doctors to lie about his height, his weight, and his physical fitness. He’s as vain as anyone who has ever lived.

Not everyone with Leo rising is going to be such an egomaniac, but it is important to note that it is a position that endows an individual with a predisposition toward self-importance. The degree to which that self-importance is manifested in the personality depends upon a lot of other chart factors.

Nevertheless, it dominates Donald Trump’s natal chart even though his ascendant is just a couple of minutes away from being in Virgo. And because physical appearance seems to be such a cause for concern for the man himself, I believe that it’s fair game to call him fat, ugly, bald, orange, etc. He may be almost entirely shameless, but he is ashamed of the way he looks. Otherwise he wouldn’t go to such ridiculous lengths to conceal his genuine appearance.

So I’m going to go ahead and continue to talk about how fucking ugly he is every chance I get. If anyone wants to think any less of me because of that, good for you. Get your own blog and rip me a new one. I’ll wait . . .

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