I’ve never really kept a diary before. A few times in the past I have written down a list of things to do (essentially an inventory of changes that I wanted to make in order to improve my life), but those episodes were short-lived. I rarely looked back at my lists because I was always embarrassed by my lack of progress.
The problem back then was that I was holding myself to a different standard than I’m holding myself to now. Lately, I just want to be happy. I don’t want to wake up grouchy. I don’t want miserable people in my life. I don’t want to spend my time online complaining about anything. I don’t want to spend my time in real life complaining about anything.
Curiously, this blog has unintentionally become a diary because I often discuss how the current astrological configurations are affecting me at any given moment. It has allowed me to become a little more introspective while also making me a better astrologer; I am learning to appreciate the nuances of astrological phenomenon by documenting how they make me feel. I’m not the sort of person who usually discusses my feelings with total strangers.
But that seems to change when Mercury transits my first house. Looking back at my previous blog posts, the cavalcade of planets that march through my first house this time of year makes me both loquacious and even more pleased with myself than usual. Cafe Astrology defines the Mercury transit like this:
“You are more inclined to talk about yourself and your personal past now. This may also be a restless time when it is difficult to turn the thinking process off when it would be better to relax! It is an especially fruitful time for any endeavor that requires dealing with words, ideas, and facts and figures. Your demeanor is more youthful, perhaps mischievous, lighthearted, and non-threatening so that others may be more inclined to turn to you for advice or pleasant conversation. Using the power of words to attract what you want or to further your interests works best for you now.”
So, when Mercury moves into my first house for a three-week stay tomorrow morning, I suppose I will need to find even more ways to talk about myself. The universe is commanding me to share my words with you, and I would be a fool to ignore its advice!
To be honest, though, I am feeling quite confident in my ability to tune out the noise and to focus on my own well-being at the moment. Things that often stress me out aren’t really bothering me that much, and I’m not feeling guilty about acknowledging that “misery loves company” by refusing to be in the company of miserable people.
Now if I could just get grouchy people to stop asking me to smile at them so that they can feel better about themselves, everything will be fine. A smile is just an invitation for the rest of you fuckers to start bitching. My horoscope says that I’m supposed to engage in “pleasant conversation,” so if you want to complain to someone, don’t complain to me. I’m trying to have a “mischievous, lighthearted, and non-threatening” month.