Flab (source: bbc.com)

There was a solar eclipse in Virgo this morning. Solar eclipses also mark a new moon cycle. Most astrologers view the arrival of the new moon as an effective starting point for new endeavors. The new moon was in my eleventh house so I should probably be trying to make some new friends or to expand my social profile online. Maybe I’ll get to that after lunch.

In the meantime, I want to discuss a topic that is very important to me: new moon bloat. I’ve been a fitness trainer for more than thirty years. For a while, I stopped weighing myself because I found that I would focus upon the number on the scale rather than how my clothes fit. That seemed like a practical strategy, but curiosity always got the best of me and I found myself standing on the scale at the gym. Then I porked-out after a back injury and started to monitor my weight as I got it back under control through exercise (dieting doesn’t really work for me because I’m a glutton).

When I did start to pay attention to my weight again, I realized that the number on the scale often seemed arbitrary, like it had no relation to how I was actually feeling. Sometimes I’d feel fat and I’d weigh less than normal. Sometimes I’d feel thin and I’d see huge numbers on the scale. So I started weighing myself every time I was at the gym in order to reinforce the notion that my weight had very little to do with the way I was perceiving my own self-image. It helped me to understand that a swing of a couple pounds one way or the other was perfectly normal for a guy who weighs almost 200 lbs.

What did surprise me, though, was that I noticed how much heavier I was during the new moon. I was already aware that I don’t sweat as much during the new moon as I do during the full moon. I have to wipe up the puddle I leave on the floor after my spin classes, so it’s easy for me to see exactly how much I’m sweating. But when I began weighing myself regularly, I did notice how heavy I would be during a new moon as opposed to a full moon. Yesterday at the gym I weighed 197.4 lbs before my class started — the most I’ve weighed for years.

Now I’m either getting fatter, or my new moon bloat is just a little more extreme than usual. I’m going to pay attention to my weight for a couple of months just to see how my theory pans out. I have absolutely no control when it comes to my eating habits, so it’s unlikely that I can skew this experiment one way or the other.

Stay tuned for the exciting updates and the subsequent announcement of my Nobel Prize nomination.

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