Walmart (source: Edmonton Journal)

Transiting Jupiter conjoins my natal Venus tomorrow. My daily horoscope on astro.com offers the following advice regarding the event:

“You have a strong desire to surround yourself with beauty. Sordid or ugly surroundings are much harder than usual for you to bear, so make an effort to avoid them. You are concerned with the beautiful side of life at this time, and you should do everything to expose yourself to it.”

Of course, the only thing I have planned is a trip to Walmart to buy cat food. Why are the stars taunting me! Don’t they understand how offensive Walmart shoppers are to my aesthetic sensibilities?

In light of this forecast, I’m going to change my plans and visit a nice garden center that might have begonia tubers in stock. Perhaps planting some flowers will help me to see “the beautiful side of life” while I’m stuck inside waiting for the weather to warm up. I’ve got to do something to make the most of this aspect that only lines up once every twelve years. I’m going to buy some lottery tickets, too. I should try avoid doing anything else that is going to cost me money because this is the sort of cosmic occurrence that could make me go crazy on a slot machine. I guess it’s lucky for me that the lockdowns are still in effect in this part of the world, at least for venues like the casino by my house.

I suppose I could also use this rare event to put my name out into the world by joining one of those agencies that books podcast guests. Or I could even create an online dating profile during this auspicious time in my life; that’s what I would advise someone else to do while Jupiter was conjoining their natal Venus. To be honest, I think that the odds are more favorable for me to find a good-looking person shopping in Walmart . . .

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