Eric & Lara Trump (source: Evening Standard)

October 12 is Lara Trump’s birthday.

Lara Trump is married to Eric Trump. Eric Trump shares my birthday, but we don’t share anything in our natal charts besides that sun position. I like to point out the Capricorn celebrities with whom I have a lot in common (Jared Leto; Wilson Cruz; Ricky Martin; Justin Trudeau), and ignore the creepy assholes with whom I have nothing in common, like Eric.

Anyway, knowing a little about Eric Trump’s natal chart, I looked up the chart of his wife, Lara Trump. Like her gross husband, she has a fairly tight bundle arrangement in her chart. I suppose that makes her at least as gross as Eric. That’s how astrology works. Believe me — I’m an expert at these things!

I’m kidding, of course. She does have five planets in Libra, though, and three in Sagittarius. In that respect, it’s a unique chart. Her moon is in Leo, making Jupiter in Scorpio the only planet in her chart in a feminine sign. She has no planets in earth signs, which could explain why she paired up with a guy with a 15° Capricorn sun.

I’d love to know her time of birth so that I could put her Libra stellium into context. The five planets are within about 24° of one another, so it’s possible that most of them share the same house position. A noon chart puts all of them into the tenth house, indicating ambition. It also puts Mars in Sagittarius in the shifty twelfth house and self-deluding Neptune in Sagittarius in the first house. This layout goes a long way to explain why she is such a lying, social-climbing whore.

Again, I’m kidding! She’s a lying, social-climbing trophy wife. There’s a big difference . . .

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