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Kim Zolciak-Biermann (source: Radar)

May 19 is Kim Zolciak-Biermann’s birthday.

I know that Kim has her fans, but I’m not one of them. Just look at that face . . . ugh!

Anyway, I had a look at Kim’s natal chart. It’s actually quite good. She has a nice mutual reception relationship between Mercury in Taurus and Venus in Gemini. Her moon is in lazy Libra, which combined with her decadent Taurus sun makes a lot of sense considering she actually ate pizza on an episode of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” while hooked up to a machine that supposedly was “zapping” the fat of out of her ass. Her natal Mars is in Leo, the wig sign. Her Jupiter is in Cancer and she has six kids. It’s all right there for all of us to see.

Still, I wish that I had a time of birth to put the planets in the houses. If her Venus and Jupiter both occupied the second Placidus house, giving her a Taurus rising, that would explain why she has been such an opportunistic whore. Oops! Did I type that?

I’m sort of surprised that I can’t find a birth time online because I think I remember Kim visiting psychics on RHOA. I figure that she would put that sort of information out into the universe to bait someone like me into giving her a free reading. Perhaps I should offer my services to her. Or maybe not.

It is interesting to me that many of the most-foul “Housewives” of all time have fixed sun signs, including Kim, Danielle Staub (Leo), Phaedra Parks (Scorpio) and Kenya Moore (Aquarius). I know that I always claim that Vicki (Aries) is my least-favorite, but a few of these other Bravo stars give the O.G. from O.C. a run for her money.

That makes me wonder if it might be a good time to start compiling a “Real Housewives Nightmare Team” to go along with my “Real Housewives Dream Team.” Hmm . . .

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