Vicki Gunvalson (source: Bravo)

March 27 is Vicki Gunvalson’s birthday.

I’ve probably mentioned how much I dislike icky Vicki Gunvalson a hundred times already on this blog, but that’s not going to stop me from mentioning it a hundred times more. There is really no one in the “Housewives” universe who bugs me more except for Kenya Moore of “Atlanta.”

So, why do I hate her so much? Apparently, our differences were written in the stars. I just looked up her natal chart to discover that she has her natal Mars conjunct my natal Saturn within less than a degree. I have my natal Mars conjunct her natal Saturn with a two-degree orb. If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.

I’m not an expert in synastry (the astrological tradition of comparing charts to determine compatability in relationships), but I know that having my “malefics” line up in such a dramatic fashion with Vicki’s Mars and Saturn cannot be overlooked as one of the reasons I shudder when I look at her. Although I can’t be entirely sure, she would probably feel the same way about me — at least that’s what the stars are telling me.

Anyway, I’m going to get sucked into another black hole on the internet and read up on these Mars/Saturn conjunctions so that I can know for sure if I can blame the universe itself for my antipathy toward the ickiest housewife in the galaxy. If I discover anything else exciting, I’ll let you know.

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