Just before sitting down to watch the “Real Housewives of New York” last night, I got a message on Twitter from Barbara Kavovit. Earlier in the day, I had Tweeted the newest addition to the RHONY cast to find out her zodiac sign. Her response? “Capricorn! Duh!”
I should have known. She basically replaced Luann’s Capricorn husband Tom as the token Capricorn in her life once Luann showed Tom the door. Most Taurus natives keep a Capricorn or a Virgo nearby to stop them from overindulging or succumbing to their worst impulses. Just imagine how much more monstrous Kim Zolciak-Biermann would be without a Virgo like Kroy by her side. I know, right?
Anyway, I’m a Capricorn, so I know what I’m talking about. I’m often accused of being a stick in the mud when I’m around 24/7 party people, but I’m also a fifty-three year old man who will likely be dancing on the graves of many of my party animal friends in the not-too-distant future. I’m not a prude or a teetotaler, but I’m also not an idiot. I know when enough is enough.
I also know when to let my Taurus friends know that they’re selling themselves to the highest bidder. Of all the zodiac signs, Taurus is the most likely to look the other way while a spouse or significant other is behaving badly. In my latest book, “Star Struck Style,” I discuss Taurean complicity in detail. Melania Trump is a Taurus. I know, right?
Now back to Barbara. Last night’s episode of RHONY featured an argument between Dorinda Medley and Barbara that made me laugh because I’ve had the same discussion with my Sagittarius friends a million times before. I’ve also learned to shrug off the animosity because most Sagittarius natives will scream at you one minute and then hug you the next. They like to get things off their chest and then move on. To be honest, it’s kind of an admirable quality. Sonja Morgan is also a Sagittarius, so we’ve seen this sort of behavior before on this show. It’s quite different from the chronic grudge-holding of Scorpio housewives like Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer. Barbara probably doesn’t hold grudges like a Scorpio, but we Capricorns typically don’t forget a slight. We’re probably just a little better at pretending that we don’t dwell in the past — even when we do.
I’m really looking forward to watching more of Barbara in action. She seems smart and self-made, which is like a breath of fresh air on these shows. She also writes books in her spare time while juggling a few other balls, like yours truly. Hopefully, she won’t let me down like a few other multitasking Capricorn housewives have done in the past. Shereé Whitfield, I’m looking at you!