Star Struck Style

September 2 is Camille Grammer’s birthday.

It’s not only Camille Grammer’s birthday today: it’s her fiftieth birthday! She’s got nothing to worry about because she looks great. I hope that her health is good because she’s had a couple of big health scares over the past few years, as well as some bad luck with the kind of guys she attracts. I want her to be well because “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” just isn’t the same without her.

There have been plenty of Virgo housewives on the Bravo shows, including RHOBH’s Lisa Vanderpump, Adrienne Maloof and Kim Richards. Yet not one of them has had a way with words quite like Camille. With a fraction of the appearances on the show, Camille’s vocabulary has become a big part of the “Housewives” lexicon. We all owe her for uttering phrases like “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick” and introducing us to words like “pernicious.” A Virgo native should have a good vocabulary. What’s more, they should have good diction. Camille’s way with words was written in the stars.

Camille’s natal chart reveals a few things that were already sort of obvious to me. She has the moon in Capricorn and Mars in Leo, distinguishing her as a bit of a snob. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I see those planetary placements in the charts of individuals who know their worth. Along with the sun, she also has Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto in Virgo. The conjunction of the latter two planets is a generational thing that I share with Camille. Her natal Mercury and Venus are nearly conjunct in Libra, revealing the personality of a lover, not a fighter. It makes sense that she reacts so strongly to the shit-stirring of a few of her “Housewives” co-stars.

I wish that I had an accurate birth time for Camille so that I could say more about her chart. I also wish that she was going to be a more-regular presence on the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” I don’t really pay attention to the rumors that fly around while the show is in production, so I have no idea if she’s going to be back as a full-time housewife or a part-time housewife. All I know is that watching her telling Dorit Kemsley to shut up is something I need in my life. Or maybe she could hold a dinner party and invite me along to entertain the ladies with my special brand of astrological advice. I could be the Allison Dubois of the upcoming season!

Call me, Camille . . .