dorinda
Dorinda Medley (source: Bravo)

This was a hard one for me. There are two Sagittarius housewives that I could watch all day long. When I had to decide which one to put on my dream team, I chose the one who is a better representative of the characteristic traits of her zodiac sign. With all apologies to Nene Leakes, that housewife is Dorinda Medley.

When I try to describe a Sagittarius native in so many words, I often use Betty Grable in the movie “How to Marry a Millionaire” as an example. In that film, her character was a fun-loving, adventurous schemer who learned that her happiness had less to do with following her brain and more to do with following her heart. Sagittarians are passionate, brash opportunists who will fight you one moment and then forgive you the next. They are typically the life of the party, and they make for great TV on shows like “The Real Housewives.”

Sonja Morgan from “New York” is a Sagittarius. Unfortunately, she gives opportunists a bad name. She might have been endowed with the trademark hustle of her sun sign, but there really isn’t any work ethic there. She’s a schemer with big ideas, but she’s too busy being a party girl to turn her “international lifestyle brand” into anything more than a running joke. In my upcoming book, I remind Sagittarius natives that they can be chronic users and abusers of the generosity of others. I believe that Sonja thinks that she’s doing her “interns” a favor by inviting them into her world, but she’s really just abusing the privilege afforded to her by the agency that provides them. I don’t know how she gets away with it. She’s probably been getting away with it for her whole life.

There are a few other Sagittarius housewives. Jill Zarin, formerly of “New York” is a Sagittarius. She was known for her meddling — a characteristic that has earned Dorinda the moniker “Dorinda Meddler.” Adriana De Moura of “Miami” is also a Sagittarius. Unfortunately, I remember nothing about her.

As mentioned already, Nene Leakes is a Sagittarius, too. I adore Nene. She is also a hustler, but she seems to have both the ambition and the drive to take her brand into places that most of these women would fear to go. While Sonja Morgan is “acting” in stage productions I’d be embarrassed to attend, Nene is performing in Cirque du Soliel shows and getting prestigious TV gigs. Her clothing line on the Home Shopping Network is still going strong, and she’s touring the country in a one-woman stage show. Meanwhile, Sonja Morgan is busy discussing which poor sucker she’ll screw and which one she’ll marry in between her semi-delusional trips down memory lane.

Now, back to Dorinda. I believe that Dorinda has her Sagittarius shtick down perfectly. She’s always ready to have a party, she’s loud and obnoxious when she’s drunk, she stands her ground when she’s angry, she’s always interested in the common good, etc. But why does she make a more-representative Sagittarius than Nene Leakes? I suppose it’s because of that last point. She really does want everyone to get along. Nene is a grudge holder (although she does seem to let go of things as time goes by). Dorinda will fight back when you’ve pushed her to her limits, but once the boundaries are redrawn, she’ll hug it out. When I was a much younger, much wilder man, I had plenty of Sagittarius friends who were just like her. I wish that I still had a little more of that in me because it seems like it would be fun to be Dorinda Medley. I get to be a boring Capricorn instead. Whoopee . . .

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