I’ve got Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Pluto in my fourth house right now. At the same time, I’ve got the sun, Jupiter and Neptune in my fifth house. It’s not the most comfortable arrangement for me.
I’m typically an extrovert. Sometimes people who don’t know me get the impression that I’m introverted, but it’s likely that they are mistaking my snobbery for introversion. I’m not shy; I just don’t want to get to know you.
But I digress! I was in a first-aid certification workshop all weekend long (hence, the reason that I didn’t update this blog). I found myself completely annoyed by the sort of people who managed to turn every discussion in the classroom into a conversation about themselves. Normally, I don’t really mind being around people with big egos. Right now, it’s exhausting for me to pretend to be interested in anyone else’s perspective but my own.
I suppose it’s a good measure of the state of my mental health that I can admit things like that to myself. I also feel empowered when I can step back and observe how other people interact so that I can tell myself not to interact like that in the future. At my first-aid workshop, there was this one person who managed to suck the oxygen out of the room every time she opened her mouth. She reminded me of a particular kid that attended my junior high. Even as an eleven-year-old, I looked down at her from my pedestal because she was so desperate for positive reinforcement, even though she was the most-accomplished student in my class.
I don’t ever want to give anyone a similar impression of me. With the sun, Jupiter and Neptune in my fifth house, I could be desperate for attention right now: sometimes an extrovert like me will insist upon making himself the center of everyone else’s universe. However, with all those other planets in my fourth house, I’m a little more cautious than usual. I guess I should thank my lucky stars that something is holding me back at the moment. Otherwise, I could be that woman from my workshop, or that kid with whom I went to school. I don’t ever want to that person, so I’ll just shut up until a few more of these planets move onward. It’s not going to bother me if people mistake me for an introvert for few more weeks.