Billie Eilish (source: Vogue)

Writing about fashion is a lot like studying astrology. There are times when you feel as if the planets have lined up in a manner that makes you really understand where we as a collective are going, and there are other times when you start to believe that cosmic forces are conspiring against you in order to leave you behind.

I’m starting to feel as if I am in the second category as far as fashion is concerned. I felt the same way in the mid-nineties when girls stopped wearing makeup and everyone wore sloppy, ill-fitted pants with hems that dragged on the floor. The fact that almost all the designers are showing pants that look like that in the S/S 2022 shows only strengthens my belief that the pendulum is swinging away from me at the moment.

For that reason, I can’t really get excited about what anyone else is wearing lately. I saw a photo of Billie Eilish a couple of weeks ago that made me smile because she wasn’t wearing any mascara and she looked lovely (not like a drag queen or a “Real” housewife with four packages of lashes glued to her eyes). But then I saw this photo of her on vogue.com. If this look is the future of fashion, I’ll be happy to be left behind.

On the bright side, the positions of the planets in my chart are currently making me feel pretty good about myself — even if can’t figure out where I fit into the world of fashion, astrology or fashion astrology. I’m sure that I’m going to be fine even though I’m feeling out of touch. The more I dig through the archives of this blog, the more I convince myself that I know what I’m talking about. Maybe one day, when the pendulum swings back my way, everyone else will be convinced, too. In the meantime, I’m just going to thank my lucky stars that I have the perspicacity to understand how fucking ugly that dress is.

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