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Mitch McConnell (source: Time)

February 20 is Mitch McConnell’s birthday.

I didn’t know much about Mitch McConnell until just a moment ago when I punched up his chart. Astrotheme doesn’t have a time of birth for the politician, but the website does list his birthplace as Sheffield, Alabama, which reveals that his parents were probably first cousins and/or jackals.

I’m kidding, of course! I know a Pisces guy from Alabama who is neither inbred nor evil. So, what makes Mitch McConnell the spawn of Satan and Trump’s handmaiden?

It’s difficult to determine without putting the planets into the houses. His natal moon is likely in Taurus, but there is a chance that he has an Aries moon if he was born in the first few hours of the day.

He does have close conjunction of Mars and Saturn (less than a degree apart) in Taurus. His Jupiter is in…