RHOSLC (source: Page Six)

The “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” premieres tonight and I can’t wait to discover which “housewife” I hate the most!

I’ve got to admit that the trailers for the show have left me with a terrible first impression of the cast. However, the same thing happened with the “Real Housewives of Dallas,” and I ended up adoring both Stephanie and Brandi despite believing that they were going to be insufferable airheads. The fact is that they are both quite “sufferable.” Ha!

I’m going to try to do a little research before I start writing astrological profiles of the cast, though. Sometimes it’s difficult to find an accurate date of birth online for these women because they’ll throw themselves a birthday party, post photos of the event on Instagram, and then I’ll find out that their actual birthday wasn’t for another month.

In the past, a few of these Bravo stars have actually responded to my queries on Twitter, and I’ve made a few friends in the “Housewives” universe who have confirmed a few birthdays for me, so it’s likely that I’ll be able to come up with an accurate list of the cast’s zodiac signs within the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t find anything online about Sutton Stracke, for instance, when it was announced that she was joining the cast of “Beverly Hills,” but within a very short time of her debut, her birthday was all over the web. Also, she actually mentioned that she is a Virgo on the show itself. That always helps!

With a cast made up of Mormons and various other religious denominations, spontaneous conversations about zodiac signs are unlikely to occur, so I’m probably going to have to dig around quite a bit. Until then, I’ll just go with my hunches and assume that every lying, two-faced housewife is a Gemini, and that every drunk housewife is a Sagittarius. That strategy seems to be working out for me so far.

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