Madonna (source: SoundCloud)

Venus will be opposite my natal Pluto later today. I’ll be at work at the time, stuck behind a computer while I answer emails about a billing problem that occurred at the gym where I work.

According to “Cafe Astrology,” it’s supposed to be a day of intense physical attraction and intimate sexual encounters. Well, nothing sounds sexier to me than being chosen to spend a day like this working in accounts receivable because I have been identified as the most accommodating person on the team. Way to go, Libra rising!

To be honest, it’s not such a bad thing. I like to feel as if I’m contributing to the greater good, and working on a project like this is helping me to learn a lot about how to avoid having to deal like projects like this in the future. I saw this day coming months ago, and despite my warnings, the issue was not addressed until it became a much bigger problem. The moral of the story: always trust a Capricorn when it comes to the subject of time-management.

But all is not lost! Venus forms an opposition with my natal Uranus tomorrow. “Cafe Astrology” tells me that “this transit correlates with unexpected changes in your income.” Maybe I’ll win the lottery! I know that nothing would make me feel more physically attractive than to be wealthy enough to dress as if I could pay for those “intimate sexual encounters.”

I’m kidding, sort of . . .

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