Jeff Sessions
Jeff Sessions (source: Time)

I spend a lot of time on this blog blowing smoke up the asses of my fellow Capricorns. Nevertheless, there are plenty of Capricorns that I would rather not have in my universe, and most of them orbit Donald Trump like the frozen chunks of human waste ejected from the International Space Station.

I just discovered that Jeff Sessions is one of them (it’s his birthday today). It makes me wonder why so many individuals in proximity to the orange, gaseous giant have either Gemini or Capricorn as a sun sign. It also makes me wonder why I am so different from these other Capricorns.

So, I did a quick search on astrotheme.com using my Capricorn sun/Cancer moon combo. In the first few pages of results, I was only able to find one shitty Republican among dozens of individual profiles. It was for Karl Rove, a relic from the George W. Bush administration. He has both Mercury and Venus in Capricorn in his horoscope, though. It’s easy to see that he is far more conservative than me and my more-moderate Capricorn brethren who have Mercury in Sagittarius and Venus in Aquarius (Justin Trudeau; LeBron James; Wilson Cruz; Ricky Martin; Jared Leto).

That got me thinking about an idea I proposed on this blog last year when the sun was in Capricorn. Writing a book of the 180 different Sun/Mercury/Venus types seems like a monumental task, but I have nothing but time lately. All these planets currently in Capricorn are telling me that now is the time to take on a monumental task.

I know that I’ve pitched a million ideas like this one, but I actually have published a couple of books, so this isn’t just hot air I’m spewing. I’ll leave that to the Geminis like Donald Trump. It’s time to create something with some genuine Capricorn gravitas that will earn me a galaxy of followers that I can call my own.

Like Jeff Sessions in the photo above, I swear that I’m serious about this project. And unlike Jeff Sessions, I’m not lying . . .

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