Star Struck Style

April 1 is Rachel Maddow’s birthday.

I like Rachel Maddow. I watch her show all the time because we share something in common: utter contempt for Donald Trump and everything he touches.

We also share a lot of prominent cardinal placements in our natal charts, watery moon signs and — more specifically — Mars in Aquarius. I suppose that makes the two of us alike in some ways. For instance, we’re both rather direct as a result of cardinal influences in our horoscopes. I also believe that we’re both genuinely compassionate toward those who need our help, although we are also able to detach ourselves from situations in which we might become emotionally invested in order to look at “the big picture.” Mars in Aquarius can manifest itself as a desire to work for the greater good.

But to be honest, Rachel Maddow has the sort of chart of someone I probably would not get along with in real life. It’s like I’m a cat person and she’s a dog person, if you know what I mean. There are a bunch of tense aspects loosely formed between our natal planets. In synastry, tighter orbs are generally used to determine compatibility. However, in a chart like this where practically every planet is on the verge of forming negative aspects with my natal planets and angles, I’ve got to look at “the big picture.”

So, it’s with my deepest regrets that I must announce that Rachel Maddow and I will never be best friends. I know, right?