RuPaul (source: NewNowNext)

It’s been ages since I last revisited this feature on my blog, but I have a good excuse. There has been no notable Scorpio drag queens on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Who was I going to profile? Jade? Jade Jolie? Lashauwn Beyond? C’mon!

Scorpio has been the most-underrepresented sign on the show. I don’t know if there’s a Scorpio amongst the current crop of contestants on Season 10, but I would be delighted to learn that there was someone worth writing about.

Anyway, RuPaul himself is a Scorpio and a very Scorpio-like personality. I’ve interviewed him, and he’s got this intense side to him that belies the character he plays on the show. He is as deep as the day is long, and trying to coax the performer out of him when he’s not performing is a futile effort.

I get that about him. I’m a Capricorn and we both can be accused of being too serious. I’m the sort of person who will watch you dancing like an idiot at a wedding to a song I hate, but if you drag me on to the dance floor to dance to that stupid song when I was in the middle of a conversation, you’re going to see nothing but derision on my face. You can do whatever you want, but don’t expect me to pretend to like it.

I believe that Scorpios (including RuPaul) are terrible fakers. Take the notorious interchange between Pearl and RuPaul during Season 7. Out of makeup, RuPaul revealed something very telling about his character that he probably wouldn’t have revealed in full drag: he does not suffer fools gladly. He’s a different person than the good-natured Glamazon we get to see on the show.

That depth of character can be something that doesn’t play well on reality TV. Casting people want you to be open to anything, especially their dumb suggestions to wear your emotions on your sleeve. They look for people who will deliver tearful confessionals with abandon. Scorpio natives can be a little too self-contained and a little too cold on the outside for a show like “Drag Race.”

They can also be kind of a downer when they think too deeply. I can’t remember when or where I wrote it, but somewhere on this blog I there is a joke about the show not being “Sylvia Plath’s Drag Race.” Sylvia Plath was a Scorpio. I know, right?

So, for lack of a better choice, I’m going to include RuPaul himself on my Dream Team. What other choice do I have?

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