Roberto Cavalli (source: Vogue)

I just watched this Roberto Cavalli show on vogue.com, and it struck a chord with me. Every now and then, something wonderful came down the runway, and yet the show was sort of mess. It was as if Paul Surridge, the brand’s new creative director, still isn’t sure what he is supposed to be. Is he a surrogate for Roberto Cavalli himself, or is he is own man, doing his own thing, taking his place at the head of the label because he has put in the work to get there?

I feel the same way lately. What the hell am I supposed be doing? I can’t even get a job interview. Sure, it would be easier if I just played the same game as everyone else, but I’m not willing to sacrifice the things in my life that I value so that someone else can make money off my back.

I woke up this morning sort of spazzing over my current lack of direction, and the first thing I did was search the job listings. For a few minutes, I was ready to do anything, but then I took a few deep breaths and checked my horoscope.

I’ve got Mercury conjunct Saturn today. I should be thinking practically. However, Venus and Mars are forming a square that goes exact early tomorrow morning. This is all occurring on the Pluto/Chiron opposition axis in my natal chart. Venus will conjunct Chiron while opposing Pluto, and Mars will form a square to both. The Mars/Pluto square is probably one of the worst aspects for making stupid mistakes with the intention of transforming one’s life. The Chiron aspects make me feel as if can’t fix myself fast enough.

I guess I know why I’m such a mess now. I think I need to put some distance between myself and these aspects before I do something rash. I imagine that Paul Surridge will look back at what he has done for Roberto Cavalli with this runway show and realize where he needs to go in the future. The worst thing he could do right now is to react to any negative criticism of his Cavalli show without allowing a little time to pass.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to do some yoga and try to put myself back together.

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