Not too long ago, I mentioned that I haven’t been sleeping like I’m dead (as I usually do). I did have Mars in my twelfth house, and that certainly had an impact on the way I was sleeping. Now that the planet has moved into my first house, It’s been easier for me to get a good night’s sleep. I’ve had more energy during the day, too, increasing the length and intensity of my workouts, and that has been wearing me out. Going to bed exhausted has been a big help.
But my dreams are still so weird, and they’re still waking me up. They aren’t exactly nightmares, but they do startle me. As I mentioned before, I keep having these dreams where I am working in the restaurant I worked in ages ago. My section gets bigger and bigger and I can’t keep up with all the customers — and then I wake up.
Last night was a different story, though. I woke myself up laughing. I can’t recall what was so funny in my dream, but I do remember that it was something that I said. While the specifics still elude me, the feeling that I was hilarious stuck with me.
Now, why is that important astrologically? I’ve got a bunch of planets sitting on the doorstep of my first solar house. In my previous posts, I have described the feelings of paranoia that this twelfth-house stellium has aroused in me. I’m not normally a paranoid person. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I’m the person who makes fun of paranoid people.
The twelfth house signifies a few things in astrology, but none of them is more important than the notion of endings. For me and my fellow Capricorns, this is a significant time: the ingress of Saturn into Capricorn in a few days marks the beginning of a new cycle for us, and the ending of an old one.
What I gleaned from last night’s dream is this: I’m taking things too seriously. Nothing makes me happier than when I can make people laugh — especially those people who take everything too seriously. Perhaps this new cycle I’m about to enter will allow me to take a step back from the idea that to do a good job, I have to serve everyone. When I wake up from those restaurant dreams, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve let down the people I was not able to serve. Last night’s dream where I simply pleased myself was a revelation. I need to stop worrying that the job I’m doing is going to endear me to a crowd that I really don’t care about. If pleasing myself — and laughing at my own stupid jokes — makes me happy, then that’s the only thing I need to worry about in this new era.
So expect more of that. I’ve posted a lot of goofy shit since I finished my book, and I intend to post a lot more. I’m sure that there are people out there who question my seriousness when it comes to astrology, but I can no longer worry about trying to impress them. You can’t be all things to all people.