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Jared Kushner (source: Vox)

January 10 is Jared Kushner’s birthday.

On Donald Trump Jr.’s birthday, I published a post titled “When Capricorns Suck.” I discussed many of the worst qualities of my sun sign, especially the connection between Capricorn and being a “user” of people. It was there that I mentioned that Eric Trump is also a Capricorn.

Well, surprise, surprise! Look who else is a Capricorn. What’s worse is that I discovered that Chairman of the FCC, Ajit Pai, is a Capricorn, too. He shares his birthday with Kushner.

So if it seems as if I’m on some sort of mission to spread alternative facts that paint a different picture of how Capricorns behave, it’s because I am. I don’t necessarily believe that we goats are widely misunderstood or mischaracterized by astrologers in the way that Aquarius natives are misunderstood (buy my book and read the Aquarius chapter if you don’t know what I mean). However, I do believe that far more of us swing to the center of the spectrum — just like most people do when it comes to politics. And like politics, the right-wing of the Capricorn party is represented by a number of Ayn Rand-worshiping assholes who would kick your grandma in the crotch if it meant that she would drop the dollar in her hand. These are pathologically greedy people who crave the power that money can buy them.

Of course, the rest of the Capricorn party is represented by people with souls. And on the far left of the Capricorn spectrum, there are people like me who might be politically centrist (or even conservative-leaning), and yet we devote a substantial part of our lives to charity in order to fix the damage that results from the actions of the right-wing Capricorns. We are the conscience of our collective: boots-on-the-ground types who actively attempt to make the world a better place instead of just paying lip service to a cause. In a way, we are the antithesis to the Sagittarius stereotype of a placard-carrying protester who believes that shouting is an effective way to address social injustices.

It’s an interesting mix of personality types. Unfortunately, these goats are a group that can never be reconciled. The users will always seek an angle to benefit themselves. They can’t be trusted. It is these Capricorns who give my sun sign a bad name. I want nothing to do with them. So, if I occasionally pretend that they don’t exist in order to make my own world a better place, you’ll understand, right?

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