Star Struck Style

I was goofing around online the other day and I came across a link to a horoscope on a fashion magazine site. I like to see what other astrologers are writing about because it helps me to validate what I’m doing. Even if we express ourselves in different ways, most of us come to similar conclusions because we share a common base of knowledge based on centuries-old traditions.

I clicked on the link, and the photo above provides an accurate representation of what followed. It was an Aries horoscope that began something like this: “As the humanitarian of the zodiac . . .”.

In what universe is Aries known as “the humanitarian of the zodiac”? I told an astrologer friend this story, and she immediately burst out into laughter. We compared the description to calling a Gemini native a “shrinking violet.”

Seriously, what kind of astrologer would write that line? Obviously, the author was no astrologer at all.

It’s easy to recognize a shitty astrologer when they have no idea what they’re talking about. I might be the first person to use ridiculous clichés to make my point, but it’s because those clichés are borne from centuries of tradition. I’m also a smartass and it’s fun to yank the chains of my audience. Still, I am a genuine astrologer — a good astrologer.

Editors really need to try harder. Whoever hired the untalented sack of crap who wrote the aforementioned horoscope needs to be fired, and they can take their shitty astrologer with them.