Star Struck Style

I discovered that it’s Chuck Todd’s birthday today. I just profiled Rachel Maddow the other day on her birthday (April 1), and that got me thinking about the zodiac signs of all the other hosts on MSNBC. You can’t imagine the shock and horror I experienced when I realized the real conspiracy at the cable news network.

Not only do Chuck Todd and Rachel Maddow share the same zodiac sign, but they also share it with their fellow hosts Ari Melber (March 31), Alex Witt (April 9), Joe Scarborough (April 9), and possibly Craig Melvin (April 20).

That’s a lot of Aries natives occurring within a fairly small sample of individuals. Of course, the only thing that can explain the preponderance of these rams at the network is a left-wing conspiracy. This is bigger than Uranium One! It’s bigger than Pizzagate!

Or maybe it’s just a weird coincidence, like the disproportionate amount of horrible Gemini and Capricorn natives in Donald Trump’s orbit. Still, I can’t help thinking that something strange is going on, like that feeling Roddy Rowdy Piper gets when he first tries on the sunglasses in the documentary film “They Live.” You know what I mean?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to bring this revelation to the attention of the fine folks at Fox News . . .