Star Struck Style

Retrograde Mars conjoined my midheaven last week on a day when I told my boss that I wouldn’t be taking on any more duties at my place of work. I’m stressed out. I can’t handle any more responsibility at the moment.

Part of the reason I’m feeling this way is that I live in the frozen north. For that reason, I bought myself a light therapy lamp yesterday. I could possibly have seasonal affective disorder. That would explain why I feel so dispassionate and unmotivated lately. I was supposed to be ambitious with Mars transiting my tenth house. The opposite has been true.

Mars initially passed over my midheaven in October while I was in the thick of my second Saturn return. A transit that would normally be dynamic and energetic was somewhat muted by a more powerful transit because Saturn is personalized in my horoscope and Mars is not. However, the retrograde pass of Mars over the same point was different. Last week was all about self-realization for me. I realized that I needed help and I asked for it — a couple of times. That isn’t something I normally do.

Without going into details, I set a new plan into motion that will help me both professionally and personally. Part of than plan includes sitting in front of this light therapy lamp each morning to see if it actually helps me. Seasonal affective disorder isn’t my only problem, but it could be a big part of my problems. Acknowledging that I haven’t been myself lately came at a time when I expected things to work out quite differently.

I suppose that having retrograde Mars conjunct my midheaven while almost exactly sextile Uranus is responsible for this sudden shift of focus onto self-realization. It’s interesting to note that when Mars makes its final contact with my midheaven at the start of April, Uranus will still be a factor in this equation as it is virtually stuck in the sky at the moment.

In between now and then, though, I’ll see if the changes I put into motion last week by asking for help will make a difference in how I’m feeling. My mood typically lightens up each winter right around the time the sun enters Pisces and the intensity of the sunlight entering my windows starts to change. Perhaps this light therapy lamp will help to elevate my mood a little earlier. That would be a welcome change. It would be nice to see Mars’ return to my tenth house accompanied by some actual ambition the next time around. I could use a cosmic kick in the ass.